its alright ma...I'm only sighing

so broheim and me got into some nice words at around 3:30 in the morning
on thursday night about
none other than the notorious G.O.D.

and although both of us argued an endless highway til our faces were blue
it was nice to get into the ol meta-physical discussion "broheim a broheim".

it made me think of an essay plato wrote about trying to free socrates(so-crates) from being executed for blasphemy called "the apology". Pretty much what he is telling us is that either way we're all gonna be fine in the end, regardless of what you may or may not believe in.

"...so I got that going for me...which is nice...."

Apology - Plato

"Let us reflect in another way, and we shall see that there is great reason to hope that death is a good; for one of two things--either death is a state of nothingness and utter unconsciousness, or, as men say, there is a change and migration of the soul from this world to another. Now if you suppose that there is no consciousness, but a sleep like the sleep of him who is undisturbed even by dreams, death will be an unspeakable gain. For if a person were to select the night in which his sleep was undisturbed even by dreams, and were to compare with this the other days and nights of his life, and then were to tell us how many days and nights he had passed in the course of his life better and more pleasantly than this one, I think that any man, I will not say a private man, but even the great king will not find many such days or nights, when compared with the others. Now if death be of such a nature, I say that to die is gain; for eternity is then only a single night. But if death is the journey to another place, and there, as men say, all the dead abide, what good, O my friends and judges, can be greater than this? If indeed when the pilgrim arrives in the world below, he is delivered from the professors of justice in this world, and finds the true judges who are said to give judgment there, Minos and Rhadamanthus and Aeacus and Triptolemus, and other sons of God who were righteous in their own life, that pilgrimage will be worth making. What would not a man give if he might converse with Orpheus and Musaeus and Hesiod and Homer? Nay, if this be true, let me die again and again. I myself, too, shall have a wonderful interest in there meeting and conversing with Palamedes, and Ajax the son of Telamon, and any other ancient hero who has suffered death through an unjust judgment; and there will be no small pleasure, as I think, in comparing my own sufferings with theirs. Above all, I shall then be able to continue my search into true and false knowledge; as in this world, so also in the next; and I shall find out who is wise, and who pretends to be wise, and is not. What would not a man give, O judges, to be able to examine the leader of the great Trojan expedition; or Odysseus or Sisyphus, or numberless others, men and women too! What infinite delight would there be in conversing with them and asking them questions! In another world they do not put a man to death for asking questions: assuredly not. For besides being happier than we are, they will be immortal, if what is said is true."

returning to varykino

and again we find ourselves here
as if we ever left
the scarlet sunsets and places to sigh
larisa in our eyes
or by any other name
that should fall in our arms

the days are getting longer
the nights are getting shorter
and things rarely if ever change that much

we all reap what we sow
and in some small places we even stop
and listen to ourselves once in a while

we find out everything we need to know
just to start all over again

traveling to varykino once again to find out
if she still lights candles in the night
over the urals and into the light
snow on my feet and words in my
heart

trying to find the same thing over and over again

full room 

teddybear 

raise the roof 

"...wait...what did you want to play?" 

captain colorado 

ogiEviE and jfrodo 

I can see through time...tis the season!

tis the season and with the holidays underway
we started off with an allstar lunch of a party at the casa de
casa de casa de casinovafask and d-donajuana.
where is my head?
where is my heart?
so many stories
so many scenes

missing
where in and where out

this will take a while to process and analyze

great time

Sweater Party/ DJ times

Time DJ
9:00 2040 W. Cortez #1
9:15
9:30
9:45
10:00
10:15
10:30
10:45
11:00 Swank
11:15 Queeniejeanie
11:30 Geoff
11:45 Nissa
12:00 Dan
12:15 Donnie O
12:30 J-lo
12:45 B-tan
1:00 Fask
1:15 G3pO
1:30 Robbydobbs
1:45 EQ
2:00 DJ BRiatch
2:15 Get-DOWN Brown
2:30 warlock
2:45
3:00
3:15
3:30
3:45

bringing it all back home

back from the space caboose fantasy ride
coasting breakfast style with a little darling and pst
both riding shotgun and gubba at the wheel.

thursday night is barely legible and
the whole evening(post-gig) is somewhere on tape
I am half intrigued and half terrified to watch it

the shows on the road were good
amazing what a little promotion can do
we had 7 people at the milwaukee show on thursday
and 5 of them came with us, and a packed house in madison
based on a booking agent
that actually went around and put posters up and advertised.

"its not rocket science..say yes and we'll move on to the next question..."

it is amazing how we figure these things out eventually(slowly but surely)
(what? pay for promotion and people will come to see you...
you mean you don't have to try and pretend to be cool and
never really get noticed because you really weren't that cool???)

I am intrigued and wish to subscribe to your newsletter

saw the dylan interview last night and was saddened by the fact
that dylan doesn't think he can write anything
comparable to his 60's material(j-lo I agree)
however I respect his honesty and don't
look at his material as better or worse
just different periods of his life.
I mean blood on the tracks may be his best record yet
and that was written way past his "protest" days
and his last 2 albums were
fantastic and have songs that mean just as much to
me as his stuff from the early years.

but he did have a point in relaying the simple fact
that he was in some space or energy during the early
60's that no one could touch. he channeled a feeling
that everyone felt and so be it.
I don't think anyone needs to analyze it more than that
including himself

I mean check out these tunes

it's alright mom I'm only bleeding
girl from the north country
one too many mornings
boots of spanish leather
don't think twice its alright

"I say god damn!"

here are some lyrics from his modern stuff that still blows me away
though for retrospective

"When the last rays of daylight go down
Buddy you'll roll no more
I can hear the church bells ringin' in the yard
I wonder who they're ringin' for
I know I can't win
But my heart just won't give in
Last night I danced with a stranger
But she just reminded me you were the one
You left me standin' in the doorway cryin'
In the dark land of the sun."

-standing in the doorway

don't mess with texas!

"we're night clubbing" 

these things fall...silent they may be

to hope, to dream
to bring forth in coming light the
shining of sight

"...the weekend was a bust..."

great song from rod mckuen
weird beat poet turned lounge singer
or weird lounge singer turned beat poet
I can't remember, anyways, he made like one good record
and 5,000 bad ones
(perfect schneider hoax for you there, I have heard stuff from his one good record,
but have only heard a total of 3 other songs he has ever recorded...they were horrible
and I made the assumption that his entire catalog was crap)

who knows... I'm probably right

you all seriously need to check out fask's blog

keeps you going in the winter months
and while you are at it

check out j-lo's blog

I can't wait til blog's have replaced out physical bodies
and we transverse through each other's blog universes
for eternity

speaking of I have been getting really sick of being single
it just sucks, no other way to put it
It really starts to wear on your self-esteem after a while
I mean I haven't had a serious relationship in like 5 years!!!
so in this bitterness
I found this poem to be very apt

Edna St. Vincent Millay - Love Is Not All

Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink
Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain;
Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink
And rise and sink and rise and sink again;
Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath,
Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;
Yet many a man is making friends with death
Even as I speak, for lack of love alone.
It well may be that in a difficult hour,
Pinned down by pain and moaning for release,
Or nagged by want past resolution's power,
I might be driven to sell your love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It well may be. I do not think I would.