Where the fuck have I been for so little?

sorry I haven't posted in a while I haven't been able to blog lately
everytime I try to write something I feel like puking
like as if it isn't enough to have to relive every trivial moment of
my day already.

basically overloadI just needed to stop writing stupid shit no one gives a rats ass about
anyways. does anyone else get the blog disgusr? can't even stand to
write a single fucking letter(Y) let alone a sentence,
let alone paragraphs or whatever else there is, ....you get the point...

so I started smoking again, partly because of a girl I was hanging out with and
partly because I didn't have a girl to hang out with.

I feel like shit, can't seem to wake up in the mornings, have a constant sore throat,
and blow 5-6 bucks every 3 days...
and I wouldn't fucking trade it in for the world.

Their is something about sitting by yourself smoking a cigarette that just
makes sense to me and although I know that I will have to quit someday
I cherish the times I have.
It seems like that beautiful tragic relationship
that we all fall for or have fallen for
and have never get over.

The one were you know your days are numbered
from the first kiss, but the passion, insomnia,
excitment, affection, booze, and everything else
just makes you feel alive
and for once part of a fleeting beauty
too beautiful to last without
something in this world soiling it.

anyways back to the front again

finding myself staring and not
really knowing why some things are the way they are