one too many mornings

Fask Dragon Party!!!

2009-02-18T18:20:00.000-06:00

here are the DJ time slots
(remember only vinyl will be allowed!)

10:00
10:30
11:00
11:30 GP
12:00 Fask
12:30 Fask
1:00 Dan
1:30
2:00
2:30
3:00

Robert Emmett Hosty Jr. in his own words

2008-07-02T14:48:00.003-05:00

-sunjet

Okay well, so I;m just going to freewrite here on acount of me acting like an illiterate boob for the past month and a half. Rather than the comfortable stream of thoughts i had been building up; themes i had thought meaningful and stackable, i've been getting sludge. Ah, the mash at the bottom of the barrell. The other day i was thinking about a blues song centered around the character of a 'sloppy messiah'. I was so damn tickled with the sound and feeling of those words in combination I just kept repeating them to myself at random points in the day so as not to forget. Apparently I burned them into my brain. Thanks a bundle, July.

Plans generate an unlikely combination of panic and overeargernes in me. I've struggled to find work as a painter this summer, yet in my -wide as the plains before the white-man free-time- I've yet to come together with this machine and make up a business card. I can't seem to commit to a name. Insert John Donne or Keats or whomever it was that meantioned to austere frivolty of a name. Oh, was it Shakespeare? ..could a rose by any other name smell so sweet?

Big Willy... they were right to bury you in that cadillac coffin.

Perhaps a spirit guide would be of some utility. I think I will start talking to the dead again. My grandpa has watched over me most of my life but there have been vast chapters for which the pages were not cut open with that silver letter opener.

Aside: Do they even print books with the pages still bound together anymore?

I can't sit still out here anymore. The sun is slide across the fireescape/deck and I am all but squeezed up against the shaded wall of my building. I love living in a brownstone. Tally ho bitches.

-Loved ones and the rocks that I love

So what if time is limited? Sometimes when you close your face to inspect for damage you find thoughts have leaked out, they've evaded filtration over such common rocks and pebbles. They are an immutable tide. Triggers made of impounded sediment, so smooth as to conceit the clean formation of their violent birth. Grains laid upon grooves and hollow spaces filled unwittingly, invaded by sleeping conquererers. I hasten to use the term rape. For rocks are rocks, and one cannot impose such disdainful malice of intent. Though, as I let my fingers tender over the rocks I have gifted to beloved friends, I feel my thumb slip into a place I still withold as earnest and waylaid as some extravagant gasp of a wave I have not collided or chested or ducked beneath. The force of friendship and rocks carries depth so true as to make a man take to sea. His only craft his body. He is only body, but body only

love,

rob.

-fruit loops on fire!

--Don't listen to this. You will never listen to this, but i'm telling it as truth. You're divine, I promise. Other people promise, too.

--Fine, I'm not listening. I won't ever listen, I refuse you. Your version of truth.

A pinwheel dart in the missing scale of Chicago, I saw you twirl and laugh in defiant reverence to that mawkish alibaster alter of ego and poetry. The best part was made up, conjured and clapping in rythym, oh!intoxicating, we hardly notice the flashing. It haram's the senses, making sweet and forlorn the capture of the eye, so vulnerable, searching. Where the fuck was that coming from? Was she a secret there, hidden in such bald exhibition? Nay, no vice but the only vice. Living in her breath, now.

I am so dearly dearly proud of you. All my love, Robert

-in4mayshun

Wikipedia sucks ass

-what it takes to sing honestly

So... Be who you are,

and laugh in the face, of your

self slipping away. You're back, back

at least for today!

-punctuated ditty (en stacatto)

Think I've tried to con-

tradict evry voice inside

of me since I was three, on my golden birth-

day, yeah, on my go_o_lden birth/day

P________________SSS

I was born on July 3. I am a cancer.. uh huh, yeah

blah

You know why it is that you do just what you do, cuz yeah you're fast as a bolt of linen, white-rolled-up-linen. You embrace that which defines you

most improved in US history

I want to lead a lyrical life; choose my struggles, vanish battles in a haze, look back and be amazed that I could've just given up the game but didn't, I couldn't, I would never give that away, just let another take my place. Yeah, it's because my life is mine and it's not already made. It's because I've still got today that I'm gonna keep my head up straight, And sit up on high, just relax and let my mind ease into place.

This is my smooth intelligence It's my way to not fade away I choose what choices I will make so I'm not thirsty and don't get played

6th Annual Christmas Sweater/DJ Party!!!

2008-01-03T15:56:00.000-06:00

here are the DJ time slots
(remember only vinyl will be allowed!)

9:30
9:45
10:00 Annie
10:15 Dave
10:30 Skato sKaitlin
10:45 Toby
11:00 Aaron
11:15 Jenoise
11:30 Jasoise
11:45 Donny
12:00 Dan
12:15 Fask
12:30 Rob
12:45 Jeff
1:00 DJ Kehembe (Lance Ross)
1:15 Brad
1:30 GP
1:45 Sansone
2:00 Jer
2:15 Voss
2:30
2:45
3:00

only sign up for one spot for now!
I will open up more slots 24hr prior to the party

Christmas Sweater/DJ Party!!!

2006-12-06T14:45:00.000-06:00

here are the DJ time slots
(remember only vinyl will be allowed!)

9:00 DJ Emmett (you tell him I'm fucking commmmingah!!)
9:20
9:40 Aaron
10:00 Jason
10:20 Adam
10:40 Jenoit and beccoit
11:00 KB
11:20 JC
11:40 Plastic Crimewave
12:00 Dan
12:20 Fask
12:40 Robby
1:00 GP
1:20 Jeffro
1:40 DJ Kehembe
2:00 Lance
2:20 Liz
2:40 Cristi
3:00 Brad
3:20
3:40
4:00

song for insane times

2006-09-18T14:27:00.000-05:00

great song if you haven't heard it
by kevin ayers off of his joy of a toy album in 1969 or so
(did all of the great records come out then???)

I have been thinking and sleepily trying to dream and
it's been so vivid and reflective these days and I can only
know that this is how it is when summer ends and autumn starts
a beginning once again to look back and remember and hope for
the future and all of that. I am feeling older but not in any depressing
way, just a little bit more like someone who has made it this far so far
it feels a little better

have been thinking of these lyrics a lot lately as fall begins to enfold

from "Mama, You Been on My Mind"

"When you wake up in the mornin', baby, look inside your mirror.
You know I won't be next to you, you know I won't be near.
I'd just be curious to know if you can see yourself as clear
As someone who has had you on his mind"

from "Boots of Spanish Leather"

"Oh how can, how can you ask me again?
It only brings me sorrow.
The same thing I would want today
I would want again tomorrow."

from "Chelsea Hotel #2"

"I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel
you were famous, your heart was a legend.
You told me again you preferred handsome men
but for me you would make an exception.
And clenching your fist for the ones like us
who are oppressed by the figures of beauty,
you fixed yourself, you said,
Well never mind, we are ugly but we have the music."

Don't Hassel the Hoff

2006-08-09T13:49:00.000-05:00

in my ongoing obsession with this man's videos
please
take a look at this

it is both unbelievably frightening and addictive, it is so bad and weird
and bizarre that you can't help but be mesmerized. I mean did this guy use a bunch of video editing software from 1992??? I love the blue screen moments.

I have had quite a horrible last couple of weeks with pretty bad anxiety and lack of sleep. Spent about 3 days without a wink and just occasional meals here and there, anyways... a great big boohoo... right?, whatever doesn't kill ya makes you stronger and bullshit like that, at least I lost 10 lb's.

for now quitting smoking is not in my immediate future
that is one thing I know for damn sure.

Beirut R.I.P.

2006-07-19T16:59:00.000-05:00

just getting over a shitty shitty summer cold that is only enhanced by +100F weather... upper respiratory, sore throat, runny nose...should give me a reason to quit smoking but someone I bypassed that and have still been feeling like shit, I need a new date to quit... shit I need a date...

the middle east is fucked.. israel is destroying the entire infrastructure of beirut and lebanon in general. right when things were being rebuilt and the lebanese government was trying to get established, it will now be overtaken by islamic radicals, just like every other country in the middle east.

I mean beirut was the city of all cities in the middle east, I know of many arabic friends of mine who's parents had their honeymoons in beirut. it was known as the "paris of the middle east" because it was the most advanced culturally and artistically in the middle east and had the most intellectuals, to bad it is blown back to the stone age, ripe for the picking by islamic extremists.

this is where israel's fatal flaw is(just like the US's fatal flaw with terrorism)
bombing a place into submission does not get rid of terrorists...it makes more terrorists. I truly believe israel should have a country that is safe from outside attackers, but it needs to become smarter. how in the hell do you stop people from hating you?

I mean everyone hates the US and we keep on fucking with the world
if we sincerely did one thing whole-hearted for the middle east or the muslim community in the world, maybe there would be less of them trying to kill us
maybe not, but we have tried this bombing bullshit for 20 years now

okay donny here goes I'm gonna update this shit!

2006-06-27T10:58:00.000-05:00

"Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how - what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you."
- David St. Hubbins

I have been so far gone these days on the blog scene that I thought I was spiraling down to the end. I thought it was only apt to have a quote that discusses what the end is or what the end means and no one could do it better than spinal tap.

things have been crazy, I just finished my hardest quarter of grad school a couple of weeks ago and it right nearly killed me. I was working down at U of C, taking classes up in evanston, doing a research rotation downtown for grad school and rehearsing with my 2 musical projects. As well I had to finish a bunch of record company bullshit to get them for press releases and videos, etc.

you know the more you work with people in the "business" the more you realize that its all a fucking business, they're all leeches trying to get as much out of your as possible for the least amount of money and to make them the most amount of money. I mean I can't complain they are gonna release my record and pay for the manufacturing, but thats about it. Hopefully this european tour will still come together, supposed to be sometime this fall.

anyways on a brighter note
everyone in the world needs to sit back and jump aboard this
little acid trip right here

Dust off those rusty strings just one more time

2006-05-02T15:45:00.000-05:00

man where the hell have I been?

I have been running around like the eternal chicken
with its head cut off, jumping from one obligation to the next

Its weird the faster things get and the more busier they are
the more I kinda get a little high off of it,
you know when everything is clicking at the same time
and you can feel the seconds and minutes in a day switch
just as you expected and you can feel time almost sitting in your hand.

There is also the other side to this as well,
when there are other times were it feels like every second
and millisecond in a day completely has you
at its mercy and you just want everything to stop
and give you a second to breath
where it has you by the balls and
makes you beg with everything you believe in
for an ounce of mercy.

check out this sweet picture of an annual western springs tradition known as "throw-away" day, where high-end rich white people throw away their "junk". (aka yr. old vcr's, non-plasma TV's, computer drives, beds, dressers, cabinets, you name it, its there) what a glorious day indeed for the scavenger

they've got a nice little traffic jam going here

JC gets the props here

2006-03-20T15:33:00.000-06:00

I was walking down the alley with JC on friday night and he told me one of the most hilarious quotes in the world by mr. frank zappa

it goes like this(paraphrasing here...)

"there are by far, many more ugly people in the world
than pretty people.. so the pretty people should be the one's scared..."

here are some other zappa quotes I found:

"There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another."

"If you want to get laid, go to college, but if you want an education, go to the library."

"Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better."

"Speed: It will turn you into your parents."

"A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole."

greasing the wheels

2006-03-15T16:46:00.000-06:00

finally finally finally finally final I am finally making a new post, I apologize for the massive attack of blog-jamming that has been haunting me. I have been so damn busy it is sick lately and even though I know that is no excuse, I have had no time to go through emails, mail piles, and blog writing and now I have finished finals and am ready to go sifting through meaningless pieces of paper that I wrote little notes on a couple of months ago to help sort out my mind at the time but which are completely irrelevent to me now.

lets see I finally read devil in the white city, great book and although I am not usually a fan of the top sellers list, this is a must read if you live in chicago the killer in the story is too good and everywhere I walk I keep on noticing little things from the fair, especially working on the south side of chicago. look at this guy looks like neil young on crack, how could he have gotten so many ladies looking like that, guess standards were a little bit lower I mean how can you not look at that guy and not think...hhmm he looks like a Serial Killer!!

and to everyone out there who's gonna tell me this book is soo......... 2 years ago
fuck off

here is painting I saw that I really like

kind of reminds me of my life right now

"I don't care..."

2006-02-25T12:56:00.000-06:00

"... Aragorn son of Arathorn..."

I have found the ent descendent of stimpy when he finds out that stinky has gone astray

"Waaarriors....come out to plaaaaeeaaay..."

2006-02-20T19:00:00.000-06:00

...and I'm catatonic

2006-02-20T18:48:00.000-06:00

let's see here, its been a while

valentine's day was beautiful, I spent it cleaning my toilet
with proper elegance and care, taking out time for the one
I love the best.

no really, I was so busy that I completely forget that valentine's day
even existed or happened or occurred, whatever it had some romantic
meaning once and now is like everything a giant hallmark card

I can't believe how poorly the west has responded to this muslim cartoon
crisis, now don't get me wrong I am all for freedom of expression
but come on there is a time and place for everything

a good friend of mine is a muslim and he told me that the first
thing you learn..day 1... of muslim sunday school is that you are not
allowed to draw the allah or the prophet, bottom line, everything else has slight
shades of grey here and there but that is one of the big no no's.

I never really knew that, and it definitely changed my perception
on the whole conflict.

at the same time though, I would still allow paper's to print the comics,
but would question why the
same paper thought that it was alright to
make fun of the muslim faith
yet when they tried to print comic's representing the pope they were censored and
not printed, seems like you gotta stick to your freedom ideals and not
pander to one religion or another.

It's so hard to go on

2006-01-22T23:15:00.000-06:00

hitting another dylan stride here, happens about every 3 or 4 days
wake up and realize there was another part of another song
that didn't really hit you a certain way until that day

good time at the cowboy collective, got W-A-S-T-E-D!
which from my experience is the meaning to all art shows
at least the ones I have been to.

is it wrong that I have been digging glen campbell lately?
I can't stop singing "galveston" or "by the time I get to phoenix" these days

".galveston..I'm so afraid of dying..."

"So Messed Up, I Wantcha Ya To Know..."

2006-01-11T18:36:00.000-06:00

so I have been cast aside to the land
of public transportation...not as bad as it seems
although I do have to admit there are some fuckin
crazy people on the bus.

the first day, 6:30 am, bleary eyed and hazy
sitting next to this bag lady who keeps twitching and
repeating things to her self, I am kind of glad I couldn't hear
what she was saying for fear that it might get stuck in
my head and then I would be that guy sitting there
on the bus....er
bus driver says, "Sir, this is the end of the line...."
me sitting there in a ball, glassy eyed
just repeating "answer the telephone...answer the telephone..."

ohh and I also started a new research position downtown
at the northwestern center for medical genetics
really tall building downtown where everyone below looks like ants
and everyone inside dresses like chumps with their suit and ties

I have a confession to make, I cannot stand it when you are taking a shit and the toilet
paper roller (is there an name for this thing?) is really hard to work
with and the roll doesn't spin at all, so every time you get like
one sheet of TP at a time..BULLSHIT!.. you sit there and then
next thing you know a half an hour has passed and you
have 6 half shredded tiny pieces of TP.

I don't know if anyone ever thinks of these things
but my old roommate mike in college, and I used to talk about
this same thing, more from a cheap-ass aspect

the bathroom stalls in the union were the best,
you could take one twill of the TP roll and you could hear
that thing spinning for days. We were a bunch of cheap asses
trying not to waste too much TP so, it was our little guilty pleasure
to go in there and just use up the entire roll with one sitting
for no reason at all.

if you are on the quad and you face the union
it is the bathrooms that are just to the rightside of the
study lounge there with a bunch of leather couches

I have etched some really cheesy grateful dead lyrics
somewhere in stone in the farthest stall to the left
which robby used to write to me when he was there
on his break from classes

old school morse code

did I just dedicate a blog to TP ?

yes
yes I did

"pull your head out of your ass dad..there's gonna be girls there..."

2006-01-03T10:16:00.000-06:00

well and a nice fist full of jostens to waken my day here
jeez. today hit me like a ton of glass tipped bricks
pissing right in my ocular cavity...(Reference here?)
time to enter the beginning of the end here
this just might be the hardest damn couple of months
in my entire life.

top ten things I have learned in 2005 (in no particular order)

10. Increase the font size on your web browser so that the words are all
super fucking HUGE, it makes reading so much more fun.
9. Thinking you've got everything under control and can smoke whenever you want to without consequence is fucking retarded.
8. "You should listen to your friend billy zane.." erich sprague is a pretty cool dude.
7. Arrested Development is interesting and kookie, but isn't really that funny.
6. Having a front porch is absolutely necessary to maintaining some sort of sanity.
5. Putting a couple of stupid quarters in a parking meter is a lot better than paying a $75 ticket.
4. Getting evicted blows
3. Fighting with some punk ass 14 year old grandson of my 400 year old landlady for a security deposit, is neither glamorous nor cool, but watching fask turn into a lawyer for a month and writing multiple legal letters was almost worth it. The fact those dumbasses thought they could get away with forged documents itemizing fake cleaning expenses that never happened still astounds me, well we at least got our $1500 bucks back.
2. "Sweepie" is not a dream, "Sweepie" is real, he's a real live boy now.
1. I'm 30

winter gift for the heart (classic schneider party killer)

2005-12-26T15:23:00.000-06:00

Pablo Neruda

I can write

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.
Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.

like someone's watchin me

2005-12-21T13:00:00.000-06:00

come on now, how many pieces of evidence do we
need to take a guy down, I mean is anyone doing anything, how can
we as a nation get bill clinton to the point of impeachment for
getting a nobber under his desk, and we can't nail bush for going above the law and spying on his own country. I mean we might as well have nixon as our president, same animal, same beast.
when people tell me "ohh it is to make our country safer..." bullshit, it is just another way to control exactly what is going on in our country
control exactly what people should do and think and feel.
our country was formed as a melting pot of different religions, races, and ideals, and if we all of a sudden go back on that truth, we might as well still be a colony of england. How can the fuckin right-wingers go ape-shit over protecting their right to own a gun,(in case any red coats make their way over the atlantic), but can't say a thing about having every electronic and phone message scanned. Looks like paul reverie would have been toast. We would have failed during the american revolution if all of our messages had been "pre-viewed"
and lets look at the list of groups that have been called terrorist agencies...
PETA, Greenpeace, and the Catholic Worker's, which they called somewhat communistic??? listen here

"no not hot...cold...damn cold..."

2005-12-19T16:26:00.000-06:00

damn, its fuckin cold outside...
"from my cold dead hands..."
whoa moses take it easy..

the sweater party was better than ever
and I am glad to see all who made it out
I was properly bombed by about 10:30pm
(when everyone started getting there)

I had the typical ADD schneider pace/walk from one side
of the apartment to another/ start a million conversations and
never finish one/repeat/repeat/repeat

so we treated all of our windows with window treatment
used the plastic that is meant for outside windows, and tape the edges of
our doors and placed mats under every door and it is
still freezing, we got the thermo set to 72 and it is still cold

what the fuck
we got that shit sealed off like in total recall
in the mutant sector, when cohagen cuts off their air

there must be some kind of giant worm hole somewhere we are
not looking

maybe it is in our sink
where the beast lives

Waiting to hear the ghost of Vietnam

2005-12-11T22:40:00.000-06:00

I have so reason, what so ever
why we should not just pack up our bags
and leave iraq

it makes no sense to stay there
and increase the desire for insurgents
and terrorists to enter the country

things are already bad, and how much worse could it
get if we left the region.
would it cause the region to hate the US

no worries we have already established that

we would simultaneously bring the entire world back into
the arena, save our troops lives, and save billions of dollars.

We could move troops to kuwait, saudi arabia, and elsewhere
and then enter the country if a civil war explodes
(which is gonna happen if we stay there or not)
by leaving we will allow the country to start taking
care of itself, end the constant threat of our military
and again if conflict envelops, give the UN an opportunity to enter
this war and help solve the problem, like they have to do
in every other country that is having a civil war,
congo, haiti, somalia, sudan...etc.

if we are staying in the region just because we have some
bullshit machismo notion of not backing down from a fight
then we are going to ultimately end up like Vietnam
there is no way in avoiding it
we will be there for another 10 years

and then when we leave,
the country will explode into a civil war then.

do we wait and let our troops die
or do we actually try to help them solve their
social clashing by seeing how they organize
their country.

happy holidays

Ah, finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh, comrades? Eh?

2005-11-30T11:47:00.000-06:00

puzzles are good.

work mind around tiny pieces of cardboard under
dimlit environments staring at a million things that
look the same to find one that is different enough
to fit.

"yes I do believe this one should fit...ohh damn
I should have brought my large pie server"

so today is the end of november huh?
I kinda missed the boat on the end of october
the end of september and the end of august for that matter

"No doubt, love, but as long as people are still having
promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners
without protection while at the same time experimenting
with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free
environment, I'll be sound as a pound! "

september...I remember....
a love once new..has now grown old...

familiar morning

2005-11-12T11:54:00.000-06:00

woke up the other day, still stuck in a familiar dream
same ones that hangs on from time to time,
burning little holes in my eyes
past nights and early morning psalms of dylan and
anne sexton.

wake to the night and sigh
blanket the earth with sadness

and know that the only one that will hear
your voice is a dream

still waking you every morning...

But what am I supposed to do???

2005-11-03T10:18:00.000-06:00

"I don't know man.... why don't you take a bong hit...."
screen fades to black
pause...
"okay just one...and then I have to go...."

anyone know what classic mid-90's movie that is from
anyone?(fask you are not allowed)

but seriously what am I supposed to do now that the sox have
won the world series and their season is over??
now I have no excuse to stay up til 4pm on a monday night
smoking cigarettes and drinking frosty cold mugs of pbd at stella's
now I have to buckle down and get back to work
the sox gave me the beautiful little present
of keeping my mind occupied and away from
all the other horros, anxieties, worries, sadness, and pain
that goes into normal life

if you have time
check out some classic DJ nerdiness
trying to fill in for hawk

how about

uh-oh...
bye..bye...

oh my!

click on may 7th and listen to the hr's

living everyday like a razor

2005-10-20T17:01:00.000-05:00

so grad school has finally kicked in and set my ass straight
I was riding high, thinking I was smart this and smart that and was
all caught up with my reading...when all of a sudden I am knee deep
in some voss-shit trying to dig myself out...8 papers a night to read
complex statistical algorithms, what the fuck was I thinking

"...luke...luke's a jedi???"

I mean we all get a little lost some time
but I am somewhere on the bottom trying hard to find
some kind of a toe-rope(does anyone know the origin of this saying?)
to find a little place to rest and nap.
anyways the one plus side is that northwestern is full of babes
everywhere...everywhere I look there is a new most beautiful gal
I have ever seen...and ladies the boys ain't too shabby either

I mean I'm there

did I forget to mention the sox are in the fucking world series

what??

Go, Go Go White Sox

he not busy being born is busy dying

2005-09-30T12:49:00.000-05:00

or so the saying goes, and everybody is at a different
moment in their life, we all have had to
look back in one way or another and asked ourselves
what makes us who we are or what we will be.

who does this compare to and does that even matter?
everything in life is cyclical, and the more we realize
this the more we find out that some of the main problems
we encounter is when 2 different people are at
different cyclical moments in their life.

where we have been
and what we have done is what defines us
for that particular moment. It is a give and take
one person is at the lowest of lows while someone else
is holding up a candle of light and love
but at some time in life
one needs to as the graduate so eloquently phrase

"get off your ass and start to take
some stock in yourself benjamin"

skip back a few scenes and you get the immediate response

"well sir I think I am just drifting here in the pool..."

couldn't have said better myself, for both quotes,
this is how I feel all the time, a mixture of the two

nobody knows exactly what is
going on with someone at any given
moment
and if someone needs
to feel the sound of quiet water
drifting beneath him than so be it,
it maybe just as important,
if not more important than anything
he has ever done in his whole life

to embrace an open star
to find eyelids lost in light, looking to fall
to open your hand and hold a million drops of rain

to feel stars dance on your fingertips
and hear words disappear into memories

to huddle neath a doorstep and
finally find a chance to sleep and rest
to lie craddled in the fetal position
grasping warmth and life by "any means necessary"
as they say

we are defined by what we do and where
we have been
and this may be radically different at any
given moment of time to different people

its how we utilize these moments that
separates us from one another

who wears short shorts?

2005-09-22T12:05:00.000-05:00

sorry for the unually long delay on the blog circuit
I am backa dn will try to post more consistently
there just wasn't anything relaly interesting to talk about
besides the normal chaos, death, and destruction that is the bush regime

anyways I was thinking about shorts the other day(no idea why)
maybe because I have been riding my bike alot lately and
riding your bike in jeans BLOWS,so I have been wearing shorts

when I was young free and easy, there were no options beyong shorts
it was the uniform, attire, style and mindset that I wanted and was a part of
any day of the year that was warmer than 65 degrees was shorts worthy

then I went to college and was hanging out with one of my best friend's dave
and I ask him why he didn't wear shorts, he told me "they make you look like a little kid when you wear them)
I thought about it and I had to agree
anyways I stopped wearing shorts and that was that
some nice khaki's and a pair of jeans or 2
the only time I ever wore shorts again was in my apartment or
if it was +100 degrees outside

anyways I have given up on all that bullshit
and have found some form of middle ground

its funny I didn't wear them because I thought that I would look like some kind
of kid, but not wearing them because of that is childish to say the least

wear what you want to... whenever you want to... always!

why lost and long, when the levee breaks...

2005-09-01T16:50:00.000-05:00

this president of ours is some piece of work
ohh what a sacrifice he canceled the last 2 days of his vacation
to break it down to only 53/55 days of vacation instead

boo fucking hoo, I mean why in the hell should he get an entire month off
for vacation, second thought, why doesn't he just stay on vacation for the next 3 years
until his presidency is over

his god damn war in iraq is the main reason we were not prepared
for this hurricaen and flood, bush cut fundings to upkeep the levee that broke
releases all of the water into the city.
read here

also one of bush's excuses for all of the damage in new orleans, is because we
had no warning as to the hurricane threat

what the fuck does he mean no warning, I heard about it for 4 straight days 24 hours a day

what a lazy motherfucker
can't even get off his couch,w atching reruns of full house to
make a phone call to some guy in louisiana and tell him they can have
an extra couple of million to secure the levee

what a friggin moron

how dare you toy with my fragile emotions!

2005-08-19T15:50:00.000-05:00

so the spamming wars have gotten to the point of a full blown onslaught
I say they should all burn in hell and stay out of the only personal space
I have for a minute or 2 out of my week.

Spammers have even infiltrated comment sections on our blogs
and have found a way into the small places left we to communicate.

and whats even worse is that they have now toyed with my fragile emotions
of being single and have invaded my message box on friendster,
in such a cruel and savage way they deserve a million years of torture,
"including being hollowed out and used as a prophylactic by the thorn-cocked
Gulbuth The Rampant."

okay so maybe I don't get a million emails from hot single woman a day on friendster,
like the rest of you do, and maybe it looked somewhat real as well

so I was immediately taken aback
when I did start getting messages from girls with complete profiles and email addresses
to lure me into their dirty little traps.

I have so far gotten 4 messages asking me about myself,
what music I am into, and what things I like to do in chicago.
The writing was so impersonal and general,
that ol d-bones knew something was up,
but due to my shear loneliness and lack of any wisdom what so ever,
I emailed the first girl that sent me a message, thinking maybe it isn't a hoax
I got to thinking, this can't be a sly spam job, now could it, they can't be that evil?
I mean this girl actually listens to pretty cool music and likes cool movies and books.
"Jesus is someone really going through all of our profiles, finding out what we like
and listen to and then posting fake sites"

is this what is happening

my friends the answer is yes

yes they are

I found out today when I got an email from the same girl
who posted on my friendster account asking about me

she just emailed me asking me to sign up for www.sensualplaymates.com

ESTNE NIHIL SANCTUM?

slow burn

2005-08-10T15:42:00.000-05:00

man is it just me or is writing a blog like pulling fucking teeth these days?
just to try and get yourself to write a blog in the summerm, it seems near impossible.
Its not like I love the summer or anything
and I don't even have a good excuse like
always being out in the sun having fun away from my computer,

to tell you the truth I'm pretty sure I hate the summer, so there's no inner-tubing down the platte river
looking for my floating highlife can excuses for me, which would be good decent
viable summertime non-blogging alibi's, its not that at all, I sit here in front of my computer everyday
and just stare at it. I stare and stare and stare and sarte(he he).

I look at my blog and see the same
shit written every couple months
and it gets really hard to add on to that.

I just read a really interesting article that I thought would be good to share with ya'aals
compliments of OgieVee.

here is a link

I'm turning 30 this week

Where the fuck have I been for so little?

2005-07-22T15:02:00.000-05:00

sorry I haven't posted in a while I haven't been able to blog lately
everytime I try to write something I feel like puking
like as if it isn't enough to have to relive every trivial moment of
my day already.

basically overloadI just needed to stop writing stupid shit no one gives a rats ass about
anyways. does anyone else get the blog disgusr? can't even stand to
write a single fucking letter(Y) let alone a sentence,
let alone paragraphs or whatever else there is, ....you get the point...

so I started smoking again, partly because of a girl I was hanging out with and
partly because I didn't have a girl to hang out with.

I feel like shit, can't seem to wake up in the mornings, have a constant sore throat,
and blow 5-6 bucks every 3 days...
and I wouldn't fucking trade it in for the world.

Their is something about sitting by yourself smoking a cigarette that just
makes sense to me and although I know that I will have to quit someday
I cherish the times I have.
It seems like that beautiful tragic relationship
that we all fall for or have fallen for
and have never get over.

The one were you know your days are numbered
from the first kiss, but the passion, insomnia,
excitment, affection, booze, and everything else
just makes you feel alive
and for once part of a fleeting beauty
too beautiful to last without
something in this world soiling it.

anyways back to the front again

finding myself staring and not
really knowing why some things are the way they are

Lalena

2005-07-07T15:23:00.000-05:00

so I have had sufficient time to let the donovan
in summerfest experience absorb in my mind
and all I have to say is it was one of the weirdest concerts ever

in general donovan's voice is still awesome and has
all the sustain and tone that he had back in the day

the only thing is that he is now backed by a horrible band
with bunch of burned out guys all his age, who now play cheesy keyboards,
bongos, and electronic stand up basses. The only member of the band that was
cool was the WWF wrestler bongo player who would jump up and down
during the choruses of songs.

donovan is completely fried and has blue hair
this and he can not stop speaking in a jamaican accent
"mr mon-i-tar man, can I a hava more bass gitar in me monitor..."

just weird, the show was pushed aside to the midevil times old folks tent
in milwaukee fest that had all of these weird banners,
although the beer was really good.

munch had a classic sarcastic sneer that kept us laughing
and fask did his best to dance the crowd into a hippie frenzy

that was all capped by a wild mellow yellow parade with trickleez
, j-lo, faskola, and other gals we don't know, even btan stepped in
to spin his baton and shout out a couple of choruses.

turn the fan on high!!!!!!!!!

2005-06-29T14:03:00.000-05:00

lets start this off by letting everyone in the universe know that I hate
the heat and in some parts the summer as well.
(of course, this being directed to a universe of at the most
maybe ~38 people, which is a universe in its own)

Anyways the summer is filled with everyone being all hunky dory
and happy and taking long walks and strolls on the beach
I mean it just makes me sick sometimes , give me a cool, calm coffee
shop for my dismay. "She destroyed me with a smile...."

with that being said, we had one of the greatest weekend ever for my bro's
stupendous 25th year in the living. Long live king tiny tim and his band
of merry pranksters. Nothing could have stopped him from going canoeing
his ankle was the size of watermelon and completely blue and purple and
he still hobbled one foot and all to get into the canoe for a little relaxation
and canoebedoobie sensations.

mad dash laughing sounds and juiceboxes smashed under foot
sounding like broken ankle ligaments born beneath cannabis high and
endless charades and of course oglivie ready and able in camouflage fatigues
to fight the eternal fight with extra firewood for the bonfire.

I mean what else could you
ask for....

Would it have been worth while, To have bitten off the matter with a smile,

2005-06-21T16:17:00.000-05:00

I have been going through old letters and notes
the last couple of days and it always brings me into some
kind of lull, not in any bad way, but more like the feeling
of sitting and staring at something and then realizing
its 3 in the morning and you have been staring at the
wall for about 4 hours holding an old postcard and ticket stub

don' really know how to describe it, just
a rush of old emotions and senses mixed with the random
progression of time and getting older
a little meloncholy, a little bit envious of days gone by
,and more than anything a feeling of amazement at how much
I have changed over the years and how much I am exactly the
same as I was in that small slice of time.

"In this world there are only two tragedies.
One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."

-Oscar Wilde

or as vossman says "you better belize it!"

Burn em, Burn em all...

2005-06-16T14:00:00.000-05:00

as per usual the most interesting news stories get buried somewhere on page 12.
has anyone read any of the information coming out on Philip Cooney. The guy just recently
resigned as the chief of staff for the White House Council on Environmental Quality, (which devises and promotes the administration's policies on environmental issues), because he he apparently
edited a bunch of scientific documents to make them fit into the white house's agenda.

"He removed or adjusted descriptions of climate research that had already been approved by government scientists...The White House denied Mr Cooney, a former oil industry advocate, watered down the reports.
It said the changes were part of a normal inter-agency review process. "

how the hell does an Oil man with no scientific background become the head honcho on environmental
affairs??

He was a lobbyist at the American Petroleum Institute, the largest oil industry trade group and is also a lawyer by training, with no scientific background.

The New York Times reported that he made dozens of changes to reports issued in 2002 and 2003, and many appeared in final versions of major administration climate report, such as the insertion of the phrase "significant and fundamental" before the word "uncertainties", and adding the word "extremely" to the sentence, "The attribution of the causes of biological and ecological changes to climate change or variability is extremely difficult."

In a section on the need for research into how warming might change water availability and flooding, he crossed out a paragraph describing the projected reduction of mountain glaciers and snow-pack.
His note in the margins explained that this was "straying from research strategy into speculative findings/musings."

anyways now since he has resigned he has taken a job with exxon/mobil which is a natural
career choice for anyone concerned with the environment, but we all know this already.

land of milk and honey

2005-06-14T11:33:00.000-05:00

recent return from days on the beach reading turgenev(thanks g), sitting in the sun
watching my pale skin burn and
writing new material.
also little schneider overloaded, but returned within 15 minutes of being away

we need to get more organized as a crew. we have some many god damned talented
people in the mix and we need more inspirado, if anyone has any creative ideas
they would like to showcase along with music, theatre, film, painting, photos, body contortioning
please let me know,

or if you would like to design posters, perform public displays of anarchy, or any ideas of
peace and love, please pass ideas on to me.

MoveOn.Ola's

2005-06-01T10:05:00.000-05:00

gotta give props to fask for that one...so good...
"this place is lame...its time to MoveOn."
maybe one of the best new phrases to enter the rotation
".Ola's..."

if anyone had any doubts, moving BLOWS

I am constantly surrounded by boxes of shit that I have no
idea what is in them or where anything is that I actually need
why the hell are there so many boxes of towels, I could swear I have
2 maybe 3 tops, but they just keep multipying
that and old remote controls and weird wrench and socket kits
in small gray plastic boxes.

"would the prescence of junkies account for all of these uneatern french fries?"

it really is kinda disgusting at all of the shit I have, how much
material crap I own. I wish all of my cd's would just magically transfer
onto my harddrive.

okay so here is my moral dilemna
is it okay to sell something given to you as a gift, on ebay?

I mean if you are not using it, you might as well get something for it
for some reason I have this sneaky suspicion that there is some kind
of secret law against it though, kinda like throwing away old birthday cards.

I have decided to go with my most recent philosophy
that you can sell or throw anything away
that wasn't given to you by your immediate family or significant other,
besides that
everything else is fair game.

"..goodbye student loan payments...."

wear your love like heaven

2005-05-25T12:07:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I didn't know about donovan sooner
everything this guy has made is fucking unreal
and he doesn't sound anything even remotely like dylan
he is like a acid drenched nick drake playing with
an early sixties version of led zeppelin as his backup band

for the longerst time I despised and made fun of donovan
for being a dylan psuedo-cheesball rip off with repeated
scenes from "don't look back" without even listening to any
of his music, besides a couple of radio songs here and there

and although I do know that he actually wrote a song that
was exactly the same as "mr. tamborine man"
called "my darling tangerine eye"
he never knew dylan wrote it and thought it was a traditional song
and was probably just too stoned or high
to even know that dylan had already wrote that song

dylan even told him "that song sounds familiar"

it reminds me when jim morrison wrote a whole book of poems
that he said he wrote that were already written by a ton of famous
poets from the past.

I digress

the point of this is that donovan wrote simple trippy love songs
that were catchy, melodic, and beautiful and explored early psychedlics
before anyone even thought of it.

if you haven't heard him start with the albums
"sunshine superman" and "hurdy gurdy man"
not just the songs, but the whole album,
they will blow your lid off

the race is on

2005-05-19T15:56:00.000-05:00

good ol merle haggard, boy can he write a good song or tow

anyways it looks like we have finally found a place that is decent
we will hopefully sign the lease tomorrow, fingers crossed
it looks like our old apartment with a little less storage space
and a front porch that looks out onto the street.

and it is right across the street from a catholic church so
we will have something fun to watch
when we party into the wee morning hours
of sunday after a late saturday night

"hey why do you keep lighting candels?..hey candle guy...hey..."

the only thing that has me a little anxious
is that the place is owned by a cop
and having a cop own a place
makes me think that at some point in my residence
a whole team of black dressed swat team members
will crash through the ceiling equipped with night vision goggles
and laser sighted submachine guns
all awhile dangling by a tiny steel re-inforced wire

mayeb I am just a little paranoid
but that is what I thought of

I guess the guy seemed pretty cool

but he was also totally jacked and short
so he must have some form of short man syndrome

short guys who are as stout as they are tall scare me,
maybe it is the whole intimidation of
being crushed by some tiny dwarf
I don't know
it just scares me

the big move day will be on sunday may 29th if anyone is free

beer and pizza will be included for all who help

the glow pt.2

2005-05-12T15:36:00.000-05:00

"...I couldn't get through september without a battle..."

the continual search for a new house has been draining at best.
It always amazes me the amount of weird shady characters
there are associated with realty and apartments. Its like they have
a realty training course right next to the exits of maximum security
prisons.(maybe they all come from florida..quinn help me on this...)

anyways we found an awesome place to stay that looked like an old 1920's
hotel only to lose it to someone else. Probably all for the best, since the guy
that showed us the place was this crazed brother of the lady who owned
the building. he was filled with intense anger and hate and made racial slurs
for almost every type of person out there...followed with "if I have to be
in the hot tub with "XXXX" I'll kill them, I fucking kill them..."

what happens when we step on the front yard's grass?

anyways I can't stop listening to fairport convention lately
highly recommend listening.

sandy denny ..heart...heart....

"______"....heart...heart...

and it continues

heaven is a place where nothing ever happens...

2005-05-09T10:24:00.000-05:00

so I went with faskola(moveon.ola's....)
to see kingdom of heaven last night

wastn't too bad
eva green was unbelievably gorgeous and I would
have seen a monkey kicking a soccer ball if she
was in it, also the battle scenes were really cool and had
nice lord of the rings aerial shots going on

the only thing is, is that I can't stand ridley scott's use of
slow motion/edit clip close up battle scenes
I know he is trying to make the viewer feel like
he really is in the middle of a battle but, just like gladiator,
but it just looked like bad digital editing.
basically it looks like what I imagine a battle to look or feel like
if I was on a lot of codeine and hash and had the flu
that's maybe how I would expect the battle to look like
although if that were the case I would be dead quick in battle

also not to sound like a sap or nuthin, but the love story
was basically non-existant and without that these movies
all turn into the same flick. If I didn't like the love storyso much
in the beginning of braveheart with the super pretty girl
the rest of it would have been shite.

its almost like you have to have a love story side by side
with constant gore and death in order to sell one of these
good epics.

anyways this was all accompanied by a guy sitting by himself
that would laugh every 4 seconds and then make a comment.
He had to either be drunk or suffering from some
form of mental illness. It drove me nuts in the beginning but
I eventually gave in and accepted it. It seems that all of the cool epic
battle movies I go to there is some asshole or group of assholes
that ruins it(LORD Oh ringding). Maybe I am too senstive
but it really ruins it for me, especially when I'm laying down 9 bucks a flick.

thoughts and dreams have been developing in my head
these days and I like it, even if it is idealistic bullshit.

warm rainy weather=me likey
time of no reply

"will it make me go schizo?"

2005-05-06T14:55:00.000-05:00

yeah so all of you text message, cell phone, email junkies
you might as well be puffin the green and leave that plastic
bullshit behind

"LONDON, England -- Workers distracted by phone calls, e-mails
and text messages suffer a greater loss of IQ than a person
smoking marijuana, a British study shows."

saweet, but what happens if you smoke and constantly check your
emails, text messages??

read here

"Geoffrey are you on the pot....???"
"......mom you're totally cheesing me out right now"

group W bench

2005-05-04T15:09:00.000-05:00

have any of you ever heard alice's restaurant by arlo guthrie
I never really appreciated the song until about 3 years ago(even with my parents
telling me it was really good) after hearing it on the drive, being hung over and late for my
families get together.

I was late but just sat in the car and listened to the whole 45min song
great message still very relevant today

"Kid, I wantyou to go and sit down on that bench that says
Group W .... NOW kid!!"

it made me think of the part were he
walks up to the militart recruiter and tells him
that he wants to kill! kill! kill!
and they tell him he's just the kinda kid they were
looking for.

pst is dead

hummingbiird is born

"we're never going to hear how our poetry sounds"

2005-04-29T16:30:00.000-05:00

I thought I would post an email today
that was in response to one of my earlier blogs
I really thought it was well written
and deserved a posting.

let me know your thoughts

"...would be curious to know more of what caused your reaction.
the 'is poetry dead' sentence is an intriguing one.
my answer would be no, not at all. neither is painting,
or illuminated manuscripts for that matter. we are.
we are the dead things.
its not that these mediums don't have the capability
to express our super advanced 21st century emotions.
its just that emoticons and yahoo messenger do it better.
what you see generally isn't poetry.
its a plastic imitation of a form that meant something in a
culture that doesn't exist anymore.
its like the kids that dress up in indian costumes and
have tribal dance costumes through the boy scouts.
the forms are right, technically, but, to quote inigo montoya
"you keep using that word...i do not think it means what you think it means."
those people who do get through and write in the medium
(and i'm tossing myself in the pile while my failures outnumber my successes 10 to 1)
be it poetry or painting, are still simply referencing another culture,
another time. we are not holdovers. we are not a continuation.
we are a parallax. stuck, despite ourselves, like bad time travellers.
its still in us, though not all, this stuck notion of a sensibility.
its like our great grandfathers asthetic got stuck in a couple generations of spermazoa
and popped out in us, at the wrong time. so i guess, as usual. i don't know.
poetry though, isn't dead.
but what they're doing, that imitation of another culture's form of it. maybe so.
maybe so. perhaps there is a lazarus among us. perhaps we're only sleeping.
but someone's got to stop the noise being made by the dopplegangers,
or we're never going to hear how our poetry sounds. "

-matt tetzloff 4/26/05

"you gets so alone sometimes, it just makes sense..."

2005-04-25T16:54:00.000-05:00

bravo kaitlin (aka kato-kaitlin)on the excellent early 90's party

although I have to say I felt like a complete tool
walking around with a turtle neck sweater,
which I will blame 100% on g3po and my brother
(who both went out thrift store shopping weeks in advance
not telling me a thing dressed to the nines in full blown party gear)

I get to find out the party has an early 90's theme
about a 1/2 hour before the whole thing starts

scenario:

...quickly looking around my closet scanning for anything slightly resembling
a ripped flannel or bad early 90's concert T...seeing nothing, nothing even close...
no bulls 3-peat shirts, no air jordans, no jean jackets with STP, Nirvana or Mudhoney patches,
no blood sugar sex magic chili pepper posters, no lime green jubazz pants,
nothing, not even a slap bracelet or charlotte hornets cap...

but I did get the pleasure once again to talk to strappy girl(sans straps)
that everyone in the world like(which everyone reminds me)
but had a nice bathroom line convo

as well as a girl who I had once emailed but never got a response
only now to tell me that she only did that
because she had a boyfriend then,
but now doesn't
and wants to hang out and talk sometimes,
but somewhere I don't wanna give her the satisfaction,
but still then again again wouldn't mind going out with someone...

I don't know, why do girls do that
why even give out an email if you don't want to reply?,
why not just tell me
"...sorry but I have a boyfriend..."

I don't understand this psyche one bit, I mean I have
talked to many close girl friends and many have told me:
"ohh I always give out number or emails but don't respond, I just want to be
nice when someone goes out of there way to ask me..."

NICE?, why NOT just saying

sorry but I would love to but.... "No dice ma...."

it makes no sense, I mean I probably should hang out with her
sometime, she seems pretty cool, but I think I will definitely let her
email me first, unless she got a boyfriend in between now and the last time
we talked.

"is analysis really worthwhile...is the..."

2005-04-19T14:27:00.000-05:00

so does poetry even exist anymore?

I mean more directly, is poetry dead?

I have had this conversation with friends and poets alike
and have come up with a million different answer each time

maybe its just the whole idea of spoken poetry bothers me

I mean it all sounds either really drab, half-assed beat rip off, or
some amalgamation of new age hip hop, lesbian riot cheer,
or part time stand up comedian.

the reason I bring this all up is that I went to go see
a good friend of mine read some poetry on sunday night
and had a really weird displaced feeling from the whole art.
(could have been the night)

thankfully her poetry is actually really good and you can read it here
but she writes things with some emphasis on relating
to some classic themes as well as experiences of recent times
she's also a similar age to me and I think that makes it is a little easier to relate
to some of her topics .

but to listen to a 50 year old woman tell me about swooning some
cary grant look alike, it just doesn't do it for me
and it may do something down on print but in performance it
doesn't do anything

how did people sit through the classic beat generation poetry sessions
without losing it after the 3rd poem?
maybe I just have a bad case of ADD but I can only take so much
at a time, its kinda like classical music sitting in one place, not talking
it just makes it really hard to enjoy something.

I mean I really love poetry and don't think it is dead(yet?)
but do think it needs something.
what that is, I don't know, but it definitely does

I guess that doesn't really offer up a whole boatload of help
but thought it an interesting topic and would like to hear people's opinions

it also reminds me of how blues(already dead),jazz, painting, and photography
are all pretty much dead as well.

I mean you get to a point where you try to reinvent an art form that
you end up getting right back where you started a million years ago
like painting where you get to the point where you
paint nothing and then 20 years later people start painting in some classical
style that has already been painted how does anything progress

does art have a difinitive ending in some mediums?

"...hold on voltaire "

Time to take off the training wheels boys...

2005-04-15T11:33:00.000-05:00

So you guys wanna take on the big kids on the sand lot huh?

can munchie even get off the couch?
jeff will you have time to be separated long enough from laurel
to play a softball game>?
nicklass might get there way way too late for the first pitch
ala the surprise party, get your cane, cape and top hat buddy

"why don't you sit the next couple of plays out there champ..."

well here we go...

this should prove to be a very exciting and mind-numbing experience
as we tackle the battle of ages(rock of ages...def leppard?? what?no sleep no sense fo me)

I can't wait, I might have to go there early morning with some rakes
and gets the field in perfect playing shape, maybe even
give old roger bossard a call at comiskey

what are the odds makers saying for tomorrow?

buy joanna newsom now

Its the part when Mr Roper say's "I want you out..."

2005-04-11T10:06:00.000-05:00

So when you see your neighbor carryin' somethin',
Help him with his load,
And don't go mistaking Paradise
For that home across the road

"Dear landlord,
Please don't dismiss my case.
I'm not about to argue,
I'm not about to move to no other place.
Now, each of us has his own special gift
And you know this was meant to be true,
And if you don't underestimate me,
I won't underestimate you."

EVICTED!!!

Thats right, D-bones, Q, and Faskchefski, are hear by delegated
to the curb. The once glorious home of
late night dance aprties, ren and stimpy stoner marathons,
fask in a skirt cooking up zuchinni turkey tacos with roasted
jalepeno's, back porch, front porch, alley porch lazy days
are all coming to a close.

But don't fret
we plan on re-grouping ala the rebellion in star wars
on a quiet planet on endor to finally take down the empire
we will be back and in even better form

I am still in shock though

picture yourself completely hungover from a night
of beautiful drunken revelery when you stumble past a full
garbage can full of pbr's and high lives
to find your 78 year landlady and her 16 year son
knocking on your door and handing you a letter from
her lawyer.

"30 days to leave the premises..."

What that shit can't be legal, I argued and told
them I needed 60 days(gp told me 90 is the legal amount)
but even so we need to move now
(we have more shit stored in that apartment than ol doc brown
has at the old house down there on 1646 Riverside Drive..you better belize it)

well if its going down this way
so be it, lets spend the next 60 days in a row
raising hell and high water enjoying the last days we got

saturday was amazing I remember telling myself that I was
gonna take it easy and go to bed early quick spiral
flash forward to late afternoon

voss man sitting in the dark trying to do a cross word puzzle
by garage light, with no carb, no messing around meat patties and
sassages. the eventual talk of "have you ever thought about killing yourself"
beautiful sky hacks, a couple of stalls, and g3po fighting the cloths lines
all awhile keeping a constant DJ rotation of tunes.

kb, jazzeressyln great party thanks for having me

I think I fell in love for the first time in weeks
and couldn't help but feel youthful for about 10 seconds
right until I realized I was about 10 years older than the misses
that every other guy was already hitting on with the straps

hey well at least she thought I was a student at columbia,
so I don't feel that creepy (well not entirely at least)

hey and she loves crossword puzzles

thats on the list...

Time of the Preacher...

2005-04-06T12:05:00.000-05:00

ministerD

I have decided that the topsy turvey life of indie rock and genetics
is just way too much for me and that I am leaving society to join
the Amish and become a minister. If anyone is interested(especially the ladies...) let me know and I can give you a couple of weekend crash courses in ministry and the "real" christian life if you know what I mean.

up from the depths...

2005-04-04T14:06:00.000-05:00

30 stories high

PODZILLA
PODZILLA
PODZILLA.................and PODZOOOkie........

hell yeah, baseball is finally back
and the whitesox are here to reclaim their throne

quick cat like agility
acute pitching
competent managing

and you know what else is urgent..FUN!

bring it on

Are You Here For The Affair?

2005-03-31T13:55:00.000-06:00

so this mind erasing, scramble of a month finally comes to a close tonight

if you didn't know or want to know,

I have been playing solo shows at the hideout everything thursday
of the month, each night with a different guest opener as
well as 8mm films.

tonight is the final show of the month and I am exhausted

along with working the day job, practicing with pedal steel
and finishing my grad school applications, I am in the mood
for a nice stress free weekend

(yeah right I already have planned 15 things for the weekend)

I wonder if all the schneiders in the world sat down at the
same time at the same moment if the world would explode

anyways the shows have been great and I thank everyone and all
who has come out to support.

The O.C. Must Die

2005-03-29T17:03:00.000-06:00

thats right

I've had it, can't take it

eating away and devouring too many of my friends for me too handle
(yes g3p0 I'm looking in your direction)

all that we have left are me, fask, quinn, and robby

the rest of you have all been brainwashed and mind-erased by the fox corporation
My brother has even looked at me with a blank stare
spouting off "its our generation's version of the ed sullivan show..."

I am surprised he didn't look at me and tell me that he loves paul mccartney,
hates bob dylan, spends extra cash for premium gas, and is dressed from head to
toe in cubs gear.

I mean after ritualistically running around the couch 3 times and then
bowing down before the fox emblem with his new neon fleece OC sweat shirt

don't get me wrong I love staring at hot chicks for an hour in a row
but those 2 chumps for guys they have on the show have kept me from ever finishing
a single episode. Their voices whine and make me wanna puke

whats that you say?
thats right never done the dance...
never went the whole 9 yards

I mean I have gotten really close
(bottom of the 9th, 2 strikes, 2 outs, man on third...)
and click turned the TV off
it felt awesome
felt better than the first time I actually made it a month without smoking

I am rounding up an anti-OC posse
we will ride through the evening by horseback and stop at every household
watching the OC blaring screeching violins, trombones and broken saxophone reeds
until they get so frustrated by not hearing the dialog that they come outside to
kick my ass when all along my stealthy riders of the night ride into the
friskilating moonlight. When returning they will have lost their place in
time with the storyline and will feel the OC grasp slightly dimisinish
this is your chance to be free

join me

Tommy Boy...We're All Screwed...

2005-03-25T16:44:00.000-06:00

I can't believe terry schiavo made it into one of my blogs
we shouldn't even know about the case in the first place
it should have remained private and stayed within the
immediate family.

This bush bible-belt neo-conservative christianity has got to go.

(hey hey... ho ho...
this penis party's got to go...
hey hey... ho ho...
this penis party's got to go)

It reeks of the highest form of hypocracy in the history of
man kind. How can these religious freaks preach about the sanctity of life
with a woman who has been brain dead for 15 years and can't even extend a single
iota of help to a homeless person who has complete function over his/her physical
processes,(even when they are drunk as poets on payday)

It just makes me mad that they waste all of this energy on unborn fetuses
and brain dead patients, instead of helping out the people who could
really use some help and change their life for the better.
the night they had an immediate congressional hearing, how many homeless people
died in the U.S... probably thousands and we are sitting her wasting our time on
one person's private life that isn't even our business.

anyways sorry bout the rant...feels good to get it out

new all time low fox reality shows

michael jackson molesting terry schiavo in real time?

please feel free to offer other considerations

caught mid-sentence

2005-03-23T17:01:00.000-06:00

cccalassic

ol oglseberry finding a way to make it to the afterparty..bravo my compadre
unlike the new "maxi-best early to bed" G3P0 who must have needed his beauty sleep.
all of the pedal steel boys were there sans g-heim.
we had an all night champaign jam without him complete
with dual guitar solo's by brett and don
we also took care of some dancin, boozin, and smokin in your absence, so no need to worry

G's gonna kill me for this post, but it had to be done, he would have done the
same given my situation.

I promise to write something someday instead
of just posting pictures............................

thats cool dude...

2005-03-23T17:00:00.000-06:00

jerry

here is ol jerry boy in easy rider form..beautiful
jerry was in full mode saturday night and we couldn't have
gotten through the night without him.

Beer Blast

2005-03-22T14:11:00.000-06:00

robby

here's robby after getting douched by nissa with some beer
after he sprayed her with some water. Of course this was just after
he had run around the kitchen like a madman, stealing bricks of cheese
and granny smith apples...

Crystal Gaze

2005-03-22T14:08:00.001-06:00

through the looking glass

here's me and bro riding on the crazy train on saint patty's day
green green, green, is the colour, ....good times.

saint patty's day

2005-03-22T14:08:00.000-06:00

kerplastered

2005-03-17T15:47:00.000-06:00

jerrycurl

How can these guys even think for a second that they didn't use roids

I mean look at these skinny twigs
its like they drank a whole vial of
radioactive gamma rays and hung
out with the hulk for a while.

whitesox 2005

Skinny legs and all

2005-03-17T15:44:00.000-06:00

twiggy

in a manner of speaking

2005-03-16T14:34:00.000-06:00

"I smoke my cigarette with style..."

so it has been 3 weeks since I have had a smoke and I really don't miss
the day to day rountine of waking up wanting wanting wanting
and still wanting as my throat feels ripped and torn to shit

the things that get me are thinking of slightly brisk
sunny spring days where you can wear a light jacket
and the snow has just melted and made the ground all
wet and damp, and the flowers are just starting to bud
and bloom and as you walk down the street on
a 4 oclock on a saturday as you light a smoke
and sit and think about everything(of course while you are walking)
and take in everything around you

I also think of nights staying up all night with a girl dancing around
your room with candles and music and laughing and kissing
and secretly stealing smokes out of my window as the morning
light begins to fill my room talking of
everything that has ever happened to the 2 of you.

of course you don't need to have these moments
to still enjoy beautiful aspects of life
but once they have been cast
it really is hard to picture these experience the same
without them
or to at least not somehow desire to relive the situation

smoking isn't something you need for coffee
or beer or parties or going out
but in memories and things that you once
had or didn't have

things from the past or things that you
sit and dream of someday becoming

dry skin = lotion often

2005-03-14T16:15:00.000-06:00

so I have something to throw out there that I thought
some of you could help me clear up

I would like to know if anyone has any clue what is meant
by the liberal "biased" media

what or who in fact are/is the liberal media

it seems to me that any show that actually looks at
american affairs from a global perspective is known as a liberal program

if it isn't 100% pro-american it is a liberal program

the new york times, washington post, cnn, npr, bbc
all of these programs tend to tell us of what is going on in the world
instead of why the rest of the world is screwing us over

I mean fox television and right wing radio programs
are money making schemes clear and simple and that is it
they are in no way telling us the news or what is happening in the world
and I have to admit they know what they are doing

but they only tell a certain portion of the world news
which would leave many (and does leave many)in the dark

how is telling as much of the truth as possible liberal
and only telling a sliver of the actual reality on this planet
conservative

I wouldn't nomenclate it as liberal vrs. conservative
but somewhat shadey vrs. super slim shadey

where does Al-Jazeera fit in?

Nouvelle Vague

2005-03-09T16:32:00.000-06:00

has anyone heard nouvelle vague
really great french/brazilian 60's influenced pop band
that plays covers of early 80's no wave and punk

here's the website

great version of joy divisions "love will tear us apart"

I also especially love the cover of the dead kennedy's song "too drunk to fuck"

very very hot

the russians are coming aka KgB-p

2005-03-07T14:50:00.000-06:00

kGbP

looks like g3p0 is about to bust his "breathless" move
godard would be proud my friend

anyways had a sucessful mission to the north country
great shows in both madtown and minny with a write-up in
each city.

the drive to madison sucked, friday traffic with rain and people
driving like idiots, got to the king's club at 9:30 with an hour to spare.

stuck in gp-kb land for most of the ride
not a bad space to be, although I kinda freaked out
when I couldn't just chill to darkside of the moon on the way to the gig
there is something about that album that has to be
played all the way through with no interruptions(sorry kgbp)

beautiful day yesterday
time to recharge the batteries

I am not a robot...

typing under water

2005-03-04T13:28:00.000-06:00

the beginning of the singleman affair residency
started last night and I really had a great time
although as per usual there had to be a bunch of
major snafu's to maintain my high anxiety level

I remember feeling really good walking into the hideout
with the sun still shining and my head thinking
this is gonna be simple, hook up the projector and then
tune up the guisitars and then its go time

the minute you think those things is the minute
you knew you shouldn't have

you should always anticipate disaster
that way you are always ready
what the hell was I thinking

when I got there the s-video cable was busted
and the video projector wouldn't communicate
with windows media player
I had to then play all of the movies through quicktime
which sucks because it won't allow you to expand to a full screen

another quick note
if you start a show at 6:30
pace yourself, I was wasted by 9:00pm
it was kinda like when you get a keg at 5:00pm for a party
and you are passed out in the living room before
the first person even arrives.

never ever settle

2005-03-02T11:09:00.000-06:00

up late last night with qblog working on
a puzzle, trying to find all the small tiny lights inside
las vegas [puzzle style]

we had a really good talk about what everyone is looking
for and what we all want in our lives

Q: " never ever ever settle until you find something perfect"

that rang in my head for a while
and I think it is a testament to life and living itself
to never ever settle on anything in your life

until something feels perfect in your heart
it ain't perfect for you

now I'm not saying that you need to go
out and be super judgemental about every little
thing but it does feel comforting to still
strive for some form of ideal

is idealism an eternally fated idea?

can true love exist without tragedy?

chew on those for a while...
I sure hope so tot he last question, but it doesn't seem that way

I have been in grad school application dismay for too many weeks now

too many ways to say things about yourself
that all comes across as ass kissin and bullshit

Sending in the Reinforcements

2005-02-28T10:30:00.000-06:00

it has long been known that j-lo's crew brought the blog scene
into the modern age, but on my behalf I would like to add one more
scrapper onto the list

low and behold the mighty quinn's website

"Dan, she had her hand on my cock...well...practically..."

"uh oh... WARDEN!!!"

"...supposed to be"

good times
I could do this forever

d

schneider mach 1

2005-02-24T17:43:00.000-06:00

I thought I would post this in support of my bro's last blog. The guy with the guitar is our grandpa schneider.

gonzo,...you son of a bitch...you could have waited...

2005-02-21T11:19:00.000-06:00

we have lost a great writer today
and I would like to dedicate this blog to his work
and let that stand for itself.

"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "

"Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a main era - -the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant. "

"And that, I think, was the handle - -that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting - -on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark - -the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back."

"A drug person can learn to handle such things as seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to deal with this trip. "

"How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me? "

"Who are these people? These faces? Where did they come from? They look like characters of used car dealers from Dallas, and sweet Jesus there are a hell of a lot of them at 4:30 on a Sunday morning still humping the American dream. "

"We are all wired into a survival trip now. No more of the speed that fueled that 60's. That was the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip. He crashed around America selling "consciousness expansion" without ever giving a thought to the grim meat-hook realities that were lying in wait for all the people who took him seriously... All those pathetically eager acid freaks who thought they could buy Peace and Understanding for three bucks a hit. But their loss and failure is ours too. What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped create... a generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the Acid Culture: the desperate assumption that somebody... or at least some force - is tending the light at the end of the tunnel. "

Thats not what I meant...thats not what I meant at all

2005-02-18T12:09:00.000-06:00

great line from one of the greatest poems in history

to turn to someone that you though knew you
only to hear them say exactoly the opposite of what you wanted them to
say

read

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

I mean "bitten off the moment with a smile" ?
they don't write shit like that anymore

love it

here is the rest of the poem

thats kinda how I felt

I had my first blog diasaster
filled with ideas and hope
and then bam...no one comments

does anyone else feel overwhelmingly rejects when they
get no comments

its funny this blog is designed as a form of release
but even in that I am experiencing rejection

"...I hav a the buyers remorse..."

On the road//again//by and by

2005-02-11T15:56:00.000-06:00

so me and j-loheim(holding his freshly mastered darling cd in hand)
those suckas are gonna go like hot cakes

anyways
we're outside talking in this beautiful stint of warm weather
when what do I hear him say to the world
but "I hate on the road"

screeeeeeeeeeeeeech [pause] record needle ripped off of the turn table
dishes dropped in the kitchen
all of the birds stopped their squaking
and I stood their dumbfounded

it was like a christmas story but only jeff hadn't said "fudge"
he said the mother of all word against a novel that changed the
way people looked at the world and life.

now maybe I am blowing this book up a little more than it needs
but it really was a great ideal, not just book to look at our country
and people.

I have definitely gotten older with my years
and the initial grip of on the road has faded slightly
but it still moves

who cares if the things really isn't that well written,
and the story really doesn't go anywhere,
that is what makes it such a beautiful book
the desire to escape the monotony of life and live your dreams
suncrested by a gorgeous sunset or starlit skies
the search for oneself and one's country
crossing over this land of ours

I never understood why most of the girls I know
never liked the book, I mean I have yet to know a girl who
actually liked the book.
I guess I can understand it is a very mascu-centro
(I think I just made that word up) book

I mean, this was the first book since "a catcher in the rye"
that actually made me enjoy and in general "want" to read
(and travel for that matter)

"...all jedi had were a bunch of muppets"

anyways here's one of my favorite lines in the book

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."

...“On The Road”

burn your freak {flag} higher!

2005-02-10T17:27:00.000-06:00

can you believe this bullshit they are trying to sell us
that they can't release "secret evidence" because it is "secret"
there is an american citizen jailed in saudi arabia
for terrorist ties but no one not even his lawyers
can look at the evidence the justice department
has against him. The guy's mom has been trying to
get him out of a saudi arabian jail for 2 years now.

There are even reports that the guy was tortured by FBI agents
and had his fingernail ripped off

man, that pisses me off, aren't we supposed to lead by example
in this world of evolving democracies ?

come on kids, become democratic just like us
and you can see your freedom get washed away
with your fingernails

I mean it brings up the over-talked debate in why
we consider saudi arabia and it's kings allies
but iran and their religious leaders are terrorists

didn't all the 9-11 bombers come from saudi arabia anyways???

to hear an npr special on this "secret evidence" case
click here .

2005-02-08T16:33:00.000-06:00

we're not hitchhiking anymore..we're riding!

Wake up lou...She was way out of your league...

2005-02-08T16:11:00.000-06:00

Falling back into blogland and it has been sometime
since I have been able to crawl inside this shell

man, I feel so distant, so disconnected from the daily blog life
bring me back, bring me back

it really does
become an established part of you and your life

I am campaigning to bring more bloggers into the mix
we need this biodome to grow fella's

everyone bring in at least one new blogger
and watch this community grow

my trip to california was amazing and
I have many a story to tell about it,
but am still processing it

one great highlight to get a taste of our mischief

Emmett, lee, josh, and myself all decided
to go to the brass monkey to do a little karoke'ing
when to our surprise who do we see wasted
and singing frank sinatra tunes
but the one and only seth mcfarlane.
(I remember telling this to j-lo and he was like
"you mean the dude that use to illustrate spideman comics
that guy was awesome..."
(actually, we may be the only ones who get that joke)

anyways 6 corona's later and trying to woo a table full of
nursing students who just failed their exams and needed some
consoling, we all decide to take off(josh)
(why did we do that again?)

where upon I decided it would be a great idea to try and ride
one of LA's finest police bikes...
all I wanted to to do was wear his helmet

the sheer fact that I didn't get arrested was a miracle.

leaving on a jet plane

2005-01-28T14:31:00.000-06:00

I have had something in my mind for a while now
and have debated whether or not I wanted to share this
or even feel if it was necessary to share

anyways here goes

for some reason ever since I can remember
I have always experienced a certain amount of anxiety
before I leave on a trip.
over the years it has gone from mild jitters
to full blown panic attacks not being able to sleep or eat

it is really weird to me
since I should be at ease, knowing I will
be away from work and away from responsibilities

but maybe that is why I get the way I am
my mind has always feared having too much time on its
hands(hence the always being busy thing)
whenever I have had an opportunity to take time off of work
or the band or anything, I have usually gone into some sort
of depression.

music helps but there have even been times when I have barely
been able to play my guitar without having to get up and
pace around

booze and puzzles help(doing the same thing eating up large amounts
of time, without thinking)
but in the end they get finished and you need to get another
puzzle or more booze to prolong the effect

it is like my mind get so excited for a change
that it thinks of a million ways to disrupt or destroy
this excitement and unknown
I always think
"what if I get depressed and ruin the trip for everyone else?"
"what if I want to leave and just go home, halfway through this, will
I be trapped not able to move, assigned to some binding contract..."

all of this is nonsense, but in your mind, at the time,
it seems like the most logical real thing you have ever experienced

until one steps away from the scenario
and takes a look at the bigger picture does one
realize it doesn't matter

if you need to go home...go
if you need to be depressed...be

(try not to poke too much smot during this either, which I always end up
doing and getting more cerebral than I already needed to be, everything in moderation right?, thats the key to life)

anyways back to my trip

I am leaving tomorrow to see the golden skies of california
I can't wait to get on the road
and have not a care in the world
and force myself to do nothing
for a change

I think it will be good for me
even if I do freak out somewhat

in the words of the immortal borat
and in no relation, but to make me laugh

"sexy time!"

age..blanhk...blind..deaf...dumb

2005-01-26T17:27:00.000-06:00

the series of events as one may or may not fear
to find out and as I may become the reverse tommy

blind->deaf->dumb

sometimes I seriously think that the amount of partying
and whatnot will eventually leave me stupid
not that I have a grace of knowledge already to tout
but still you hold yourself in some regard

...at least I think I am right all the time
even if I am not in thinking...

my dad always tells me that drinkin whiskey makes you forget stuff
and fall over at times(I am picturing this in my mind and have to think that
has probably happened to me many a morning, many times when not drinkin)

and now I have to admit he may be on to something
I just don't see how that is any different than downing 11.5 highlife's
in a night. Maybe the barley and hops keep you on your toes?

anyways I think today and today and toDAY
have been rather acerbic in all of our minds these days

d

2005-01-24T17:07:00.000-06:00

this represents everything I can think of, probably the best image in the history of all mankind.

in the book of right on, she was right on

2005-01-24T16:56:00.000-06:00

bring these things back
in small moments or even not at all
but to just pretend they once were
give me a dream that fall somewhere between
the summers of august
and the winters of july

give me false hope
give me radiant eyelines
skied across the night

break the repetition of neverending

signils has been quoth before!

leave these hollow pastoral dreams away
I have no need for them
far far(l l l)in a distant sea floating to find
chilly north winds and ice

bring back gravity and youth
promises and myopic sitting somewhere on division st.
like it should be

I need the easy-to stomach bounce
the endless nightless days

hit and fall
hit and fail
hit and then

sorrow

I continue to walk these same streets

it has been an endless 5 years

opus #57682086

2005-01-21T14:30:00.000-06:00

that speech at the inauguration sounded like something out of
the old testament or even worse ala charlie-heston-moses sprawl
and verse.
" After the shipwreck of communism came years of relative quiet, years of repose, years of sabbatical -- and then there came a day of fire."

is that not just downright sickening
they interviewed people in the crowd at the speech
and the most important issue to most of them
was the sanctity of marriage and making abortion illegal

"they're completely out of touch with reality"

how does 2 gay guys getting married threaten someone else's life
please tell me I wanna know their secret weapon that will
admonish us and our kin for all of eternity?

its time to reel back into the land of recluse
write songs, dream of poetry, and look for a girl to spend
my life with.

I write Iraq Iran

2005-01-18T15:29:00.000-06:00

"Bush said on Monday that Washington would not rule out military action against Iran if it was not more forthcoming about its suspected nuclear weapons programme"

check out more here

The bush adminstration is taking no time to bring about total world-wide destruction.

do we really want to invade iran next?

I mean it wouldn't surprise me,

doesn't it seem weird that we invaded both countries surrounding iran anyways,
I always figured iran was next?

We have legitimate bases flanking both sides

Why is this being hushed?

oh this may be why

we need to organize

now

Bring 'em on( I want bush!)

2005-01-14T15:43:00.000-06:00

I have tried my hardest to refrain from political rants but one can only take so much

Why is that news of WMD search ends up on page 16 of the tribune.

Wouldn't you think this to be front page news, I mean jesus,
wasn't that the whole reason we were over there.

It makes me wanna puke, whenever the right wing begin's
spewing their "we're embarking on an experiment of bringing democracy to the middle east".
What does that really mean?
could we bring that experiment to the sudan?
how about north korea or even parts of china?

It sound so familiar

very much like our policy with taming the so-called savage natives
of this country 200 years ago.

"We must show our indian brothers
the brutality of their non-christian (peaceful) lifestyles
and replace this with a 2000 year history of war
and bloodshed that we can call christianity"

I mean we still haven't helped the indians
how long will it take in iraq?

2005-01-12T16:28:00.002-06:00

ola's #3

2005-01-12T16:28:00.001-06:00

ola's #2

2005-01-12T16:28:00.000-06:00

ola's #1

2005-01-12T16:27:00.000-06:00

"angry voss" + kelly.com

2005-01-12T16:26:00.000-06:00

magnum

Putting on the Foil

2005-01-11T11:09:00.000-06:00

"jesus they don't leave the bench..."

I gots to talking with fask last night
(one of the many beautiful perks of having a roomie
sit around and talk about shit at 12:30 a.m. until god know's when,
when I am supposed to be sleeping.)
seriously I wouldn't trade it for the world
best stretches one could ever have

it makes sense to me
when fask and I were held in captivity
out in the burbs we would always chill outside by
a lamp post in front of my parents house
and have a final cigarette as the night would come to a close

we would reflect and project what had been going on in the mind
and what we wanted to do. It was nice to get a good recap in before
slumberland and we stuck to our schedule like clock work.

anyways we have gotten older now
and the cigarettes have been traded in for carrots and hummus
topped of with a couple lawn-mowers and a pomegranate
but the idea is still there

and we still haven't missed a beat in a long time
reflecting what has been going on
and where we were headed

lately we have been quite synchronized and
for the last couple of days have
been in horrible angry-voss moods
putting on the foil
and letting out the "fear"

it feels good once in a while to be an asshole
and be angry, you know?
so you still know where the bottom of the fish tank is

I think we have found bottom, one takes only so much
self-loathing, although I always find a way to top myself,

soon it will be time to return to optimism and hope
...well maybe in a couple more days...

"thats enough for now boys...."

way back in 1993

2005-01-10T11:19:00.000-06:00

so I finally saw garden state and although I had many reservations going in
when viewing this movie, I have to say I liked it.

so many reviewers had drawn a similarity to the graduate
which made me instantly not want to like the movie
(graduate = my favorite movie of all time)

and although there are many similarities, in a coming to age sort of way,
I see them as vastly different movies.

garden state reminded me of small scenes in college or just there after
that I am sometimes still visiting now.
It was well shot, had a great soundtrack and made excellent use of time-lapse filming
techniques

anyways here are some of the things that bothered me in the movie

First of all, it seemed unrealitic that all of the girls he encountered were drop dead gorgeous.
I mean I know you need to have prettier girls in movies
to sell more tickets, but it didn't seem very believable to me.
(I mean how many people drop a tab of X and then have the hottest girl in the party straddle you
and then start to make out with you???, I must have been at the wrong parties I guess...)

secondly, I also don't know how I feel about the use of the shin's song "new slang"

it felt like all of a sudden this beautiful secret world of music had been bastardized
and whored out to the rest of the world
starring natalie portman smiling and singing along
telling me this song would change my life

no shit it would change my life
and the fact that you didn't know about it
in your ever precious hollywood world
meant something to me

I guess the biggest dagger and my final quip with the movie
(which is partially my fault for my own tardiness)
is the use of "the only living boy in new york"

that song was and remains a testament to one of the hardest years of my life
way back in my freshman year of college in 1993-1994
there are probably only 2 people in the world that know how important that song
was to me, dave K and julie D, and both of them and that song kept me alive during that year.

I have always dreamed of using that song in a movie of mine
and have been beaten to the punch
by mr. jack braff

now I have to relive that cheesy scene in the bottom of a that gorge
as they all simulataneously scream and let us know
that they have some form of new lease on life
for eternity

thanks

why couldn't you have left my song alone?

anyways sorry for the rant

again I really did like the movie
but those were things that have been stuck in my mind
since I have seen it

2005-01-05T17:14:00.000-06:00

faskolization "I'm there..."

2005-01-05T17:12:00.000-06:00

schneider prayer dance

2005-01-05T17:07:00.000-06:00

wonder boyz

2005-01-05T17:06:00.000-06:00

8 miles high

2005-01-05T17:05:00.000-06:00

martini's

The sunshine bores the daylights out of me

2005-01-03T11:29:00.000-06:00

we have rAng in the new years and the ball has dropped
finally(...its about time....)

time to reflect and rearrange and re-evaluate
new ideas, same faces, new faces, familiar scenes and new ways to look at them

I am tired of partying

faskola put it best "....I feel so USed....worn tired and thin...."
I feel like we have sailed away at sea and have come back
with saltwater skin and sunburnt hair
a horrible rash of scurvey and ricketts

time to return home
it time for puzzles, warm tea, and records on the old record player
the beautiful grating sound against the brain as the windows cover with frost
peering out into the winter nights
warm and content with staying in

I had a horrible night sleep last night
15 minutes tops

I just sat there in my bed and stared
tossing and turning, doing nothing

every 3 minutes turning
and finding a new angle to try and fall asleep
and failing miserably

man, what a waste of time

its alright ma...I'm only sighing

2004-12-28T11:30:00.000-06:00

so broheim and me got into some nice words at around 3:30 in the morning
on thursday night about
none other than the notorious G.O.D.

and although both of us argued an endless highway til our faces were blue
it was nice to get into the ol meta-physical discussion "broheim a broheim".

it made me think of an essay plato wrote about trying to free socrates(so-crates) from being executed for blasphemy called "the apology". Pretty much what he is telling us is that either way we're all gonna be fine in the end, regardless of what you may or may not believe in.

"...so I got that going for me...which is nice...."

Apology - Plato

"Let us reflect in another way, and we shall see that there is great reason to hope that death is a good; for one of two things--either death is a state of nothingness and utter unconsciousness, or, as men say, there is a change and migration of the soul from this world to another. Now if you suppose that there is no consciousness, but a sleep like the sleep of him who is undisturbed even by dreams, death will be an unspeakable gain. For if a person were to select the night in which his sleep was undisturbed even by dreams, and were to compare with this the other days and nights of his life, and then were to tell us how many days and nights he had passed in the course of his life better and more pleasantly than this one, I think that any man, I will not say a private man, but even the great king will not find many such days or nights, when compared with the others. Now if death be of such a nature, I say that to die is gain; for eternity is then only a single night. But if death is the journey to another place, and there, as men say, all the dead abide, what good, O my friends and judges, can be greater than this? If indeed when the pilgrim arrives in the world below, he is delivered from the professors of justice in this world, and finds the true judges who are said to give judgment there, Minos and Rhadamanthus and Aeacus and Triptolemus, and other sons of God who were righteous in their own life, that pilgrimage will be worth making. What would not a man give if he might converse with Orpheus and Musaeus and Hesiod and Homer? Nay, if this be true, let me die again and again. I myself, too, shall have a wonderful interest in there meeting and conversing with Palamedes, and Ajax the son of Telamon, and any other ancient hero who has suffered death through an unjust judgment; and there will be no small pleasure, as I think, in comparing my own sufferings with theirs. Above all, I shall then be able to continue my search into true and false knowledge; as in this world, so also in the next; and I shall find out who is wise, and who pretends to be wise, and is not. What would not a man give, O judges, to be able to examine the leader of the great Trojan expedition; or Odysseus or Sisyphus, or numberless others, men and women too! What infinite delight would there be in conversing with them and asking them questions! In another world they do not put a man to death for asking questions: assuredly not. For besides being happier than we are, they will be immortal, if what is said is true."

returning to varykino

2004-12-27T14:06:00.000-06:00

and again we find ourselves here
as if we ever left
the scarlet sunsets and places to sigh
larisa in our eyes
or by any other name
that should fall in our arms

the days are getting longer
the nights are getting shorter
and things rarely if ever change that much

we all reap what we sow
and in some small places we even stop
and listen to ourselves once in a while

we find out everything we need to know
just to start all over again

traveling to varykino once again to find out
if she still lights candles in the night
over the urals and into the light
snow on my feet and words in my
heart

trying to find the same thing over and over again

2004-12-21T15:15:00.000-06:00

full room

2004-12-21T15:13:00.000-06:00

teddybear

2004-12-21T15:11:00.000-06:00

raise the roof

2004-12-21T15:09:00.000-06:00

"...wait...what did you want to play?"